The Worst Television Has to Offer: 5 TV Shows That Need to Be Canceled

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The New Year is a great time to say “out with the old and in with the new.” When it comes to crappy TV shows you could alter that to say, “out with the boring, lame, ridiculous, and toxic and in with fresh, intelligent, entertaining ideas.” There are plenty of smart, witty, innovative people in Hollywood so why do we see so much bad television year after year? Because there’s no accounting for taste, that’s why. And when the suits in the corner office want to cater to the masses and make megabucks, they aren’t really worried about quality.

Some people think the fictional behind-the-scenes Broadway show Smash should go, but it actually has its merits. Angelica Houston tossing martinis and Manhattans in her ex-husband’s face constantly, great guest stars, campy cat fights. It’s entertaining, which is more than you can say for a lot of shows. Then there’s the huge hit Burn Notice which, upon first viewing, seems like a poorly acted, horribly written spy parody – which it kind of is. Except it’s actually brilliant and hilarious! So without further ado, here are five shows that don’t have any brilliance whatsoever. Five shows that need to throw in the towel, surrender the flag and leave us all alone.

5 Two and a Half Men

All good things must some to an end. And Two and a Half Men should have ended when Charlie Sheen turned into a tiger and left the show. Ashton Kutcher isn’t that funny in it and the son isn’t cute anymore. Plus even he’s telling people not to watch his show because he’s become very religious and he thinks the show is “filth.” The bottom line is: It’s time to say “sayonara.”

4 My Life is a Lifetime Movie

Lifetime movies aren’t horrible enough that the network has to bring on a reality show about people whose lives are as messed up and melodramatic as a Lifetime movie? Who watches this thing? Who even cares? It might be better to watch that Lindsay Lohan disaster Liz & Dick than to sit through this reality show.

3 Kardashians

Not just Kardashians on E! Let’s cancel every show featuring or related to any one of the Kardashian clan. Enough already! We get it. They’re awful, spoiled, shallow people. They’re rich and we are not. They cry on cue. Problem is, now that Kim is preggo, the Kardashian show assault will probably continue.

2 2 Broke Girls

Another dud brought to us by Whitney Cummings. This show had some promise. It was timely (Broke Girls) and had Kat Dennings as the lead. Then there was the totally canned and distracting laugh track (what is this, 1962?), the subtle and out of touch racism, and the bad ba-da-bing jokes. Worst of all it is a fantastical, TV-land version of being broke. These girls buy giant Starbucks drinks every day and they have a pretty large apartment by Brooklyn standards. It’s just ridiculous, but evidently, like Whitney, someone is watching.

1 Whitney

For reasons known only to the top executives and the almighty, this show is still going. Whitney Cummings – formerly a Chelsea Handler comedian and expert Comedy Central roaster – must have some voodoo magic going on because she has about three shows going at once, and they’re all awful. Whitney is a ho-hum sitcom about a couple living together but doesn’t want to get married. Drama ensues. Just kidding! There’s no drama in this scenario which is why it’s so hard to believe it keeps going. There’s also no comedy, which is a big problem. Somebody’s watching it though – perhaps in Florida retirement homes?

Closing Words
What are your picks for shows that need to get the boot?

Dina Gachman writes about Hollywood and celebrities for Forbes, and covers film for Red Bull USA. She has written for Splitsider, Thought Catalog, and Hello Giggles. Her comic books about Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor are being published by Bluewater Comics.

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