Wild Beasts of the Idiot Box: the Top 5 TV Pets
5 Nibbler – Futurama
He’s a tiny, adorable alien in a diaper and cape who can eat a spiral ham in one bite and craps giant leaden balls of dark matter. Not sold yet? He’s also a super-intelligent and well-spoken leader of the Nibblonians, a cuddly race sworn to secretly protect the universe. He has existed since just before the dawn of time, and his full title is “Lord Nibbler.” He’s also responsible for pushing Fry into the cryogenic freezer that started the entire Futurama story.
4 Rowdy – Scrubs
Finally, we have an answer to the burning question “Can a dead pet be hilarious?” And the answer is a resounding “yes.” Rowdy is the long-ago deceased, stuffed Labrador that Turk and J.D. purchased at a garage sale. Throughout the series Rowdy is used in countless pranks, like rolling him out in front of cars wearing rollerblades or hiding him in Carla’s closet to “guard her shoes.” He was particularly attached to J.D., as he can be seen humping J.D.’s leg, bathing with J.D. and was even stolen from the set at the show’s culmination by the actor who played J.D., Zach Braff, proving that there are few bonds stronger than that of a boy and his dead dog.
3 Wilfred – Wilfred
If you haven’t been watching Wilfred on FX, then you have been missing out on a pet so funny that in just two short seasons he’s already jumped onto this list. Wilfred is the seven-year-old dog that lives next door to Ryan Newman (Elijah Wood), only something in Ryan’s deeply troubled mind makes him see Wilfred as an Australian man in a dog suit that he can talk to and even smoke weed with. Incidentally, Wilfred has a filthy mouth, a twisted sense of humor and a sexually explicit relationship with a stuffed bear. Basically, he’s is like Tyler Durden in Fight Club, except he can lick his own nether region.
2 Marcel – Friends
1 Santa’s Little Helper – The Simpsons
The Simpson family adopted Santa’s Little Helper after his owners at the racetrack ditched him on Christmas, and the rest is TV history. He is quite accomplished for an animated greyhound, having once replaced Duffman as the official mascot of Duff beer, fought crime as a police dog, fathered a littler of puppies that Mr. Burns tried to turn into a tuxedo and even helped Bart commit credit card fraud by inspiring the falsified identity of Santos L. Halper. He’s eaten homework, goldfish, homing pigeons and talking Krusty dolls. He’s ridden giant rubber balls, walked upright and attracted the advances of Springfield’s Gay Dog Alliance. He’s truly a Renaissance Canine.